How do you like this scene?

Well, you have a few fragmwnts that could be taken care if. The names are great, except for Rachel. To me, Rachel is. Overused, bland, vanilla ice cream. If your stuck on Rachel though, could you consider different spellings? Rachele, Raychelle, Raichel, Raquel? Or if you want an R name, could you consider Rowen, or Raine, Rosalie? Regina? Randy? Reba? Rebbecah? But if it doesnt reall matter, there have beenplenty of questions asked about names for girls that have huge lists. Feel free to help yourself to those.